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Jasm Newbie
 Joined: 06 May 2008
Posts: 68
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So you can accept that your wife has a BF and has sexual relationship with him? You don't mind?
You said that you, your wife and her BF are all colleagues in the same company? Isn't it very awkward for all 3 of you to work in the same company? Your wife and her BF have secret affairs without the knowledge of your other colleagues or evrybody knows that they are together?
Your children knows about her BF?
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Posted: 02 October 2008 at 7:08pm · IP Logged |
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MikeKTH Newbie
 Joined: 31 July 2008
Posts: 20
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i can't say i accept her affair, but i'm learning to live with it and take it...and maybe slowly accept it.
My children knows that my wife is always together with her BF, he comes to our house with my wife everytime. My children call him Uncle Rick. But they are still a bit too young to understand what Bf actually mean.
All 3 of us works in the same department in the company. Everybody knows that they are having affairs and live together. They have affair openly. It's very awkward for me and it hurts alot.
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Posted: 09 October 2008 at 8:05am · IP Logged |
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thery Groupie
Joined: 01 May 2003
Posts: 236
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SupraMod wrote:
| For Goodness sake, you should be telling her off totally! Because you forgave her, she felt even more frustrated. Such behaviours adopted by some woman, are used to create opposite reactions. Im sorry but i think she find you useless, probably thats the main reason why she find u less attractive. She needs someone who is manly enuff to control her. |
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I totally totally totally agree with SupraMod. I'm a woman so I can attest to that. Not that I'm having a secret affair outside, but I KNOW FOR SURE a woman gets turned off (sexually and emotionally) when their man appears weak and helpless.
RESPECT - that's what your wife doesn't have for you. Neither does her lover. That's why they openly flirt in the office in front of you and all the other colleagues.
But what I find interesting is how she's not afraid to be labelled as a 'cheap woman' by her colleagues... if she really loves this Rick and wants to be with him, she should be divorcing you first before starting a new life with him. I suspect she's putting up their 'flirting show' in the office to stir up your anger, waiting to see how you react, and hoping you'll CLAIM her back. But disappointingly you just accept the cuckholdry in silence.
I say don't suffer in silence anymore. It won't work and she won't come back to you out of pity. We girls have been brought up reading fairytales where men CONQUER their woman. Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, just to name a few. So prove to her that you're man enough to show your disgust for her and her lover.
But even if she doesn't want to get back, don't beg. Just divorce her. I heard there's a law in Singapore that in a divorce, unfaithful husbands will need to give some settlement money or something to their wife. I'm not sure if it works the other way round, but if it does then start collecting evidence of her extra-marital affairs so you can get some money out of her and her lover.
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| Love is blind... (and deaf and dumb)
Posted: 09 October 2008 at 9:41pm · IP Logged |
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SupraMod Senior Member
 Joined: 12 December 2004
Posts: 659
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UNfortunately, even if the wife is the unfaithful soul, she can still demand maintenance fees... Welcome to Singapore!
.... Haha... Woman charter is soooooo.... nonsensical. FYI, the reason why woman charter is so powerful in SG environment because woman is still peceived as the weaker sex in the society. The reason why maintenance fees are provided to woman because the law perceived that, woman, once divorced lost the ability to earn their own keep. I seriously don't understand based on what fact does the law had the perception. Unless, somebody tells me the current CEO of hyflux is a trans?
Interesting hor... LOL
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| Simplest things in life are often neglected and forgotten, until the day you started counting, you realised how much you missed.. and I miss you badly.
Posted: 09 October 2008 at 11:34pm · IP Logged |
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pikoko Newbie
 Joined: 28 September 2008
Posts: 4
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I disagree that even with the women charter, a cheating wife can still ask for maintenance... if you have proofs then she shouldnt even be allow to have any maintenance to begin with. Especially if she doesnt get the children.
I mean pardon me but I am a woman myself, and I do not side with such behaviour. A flirting woman doesn't even deserve to have the kids with her, wat kind of impression will she be giving her children and hw will her children grow up to be?
Sure there is the women charter to protect abused women, or women who had gone through a lot, NOT flirting women!!
I m not sorry to sound harsh here but Mike, you should put an end to all these and know that nobody deserve to have to go through what you are or had gone through.
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Posted: 10 October 2008 at 7:31pm · IP Logged |
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MikeKTH Newbie
Joined: 31 July 2008
Posts: 20
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i did showed my disgust at her attitude several times but we ended up quarelling each time. She would just storm off after that. I did told her at least to show me some respect in front of other colleagues by not being too imtimate with Rick so openly. She didn't seem to bother. She even told some colleagues that she's enjoying a great sex life with Rick.
I heard about the unfairness of Woman's Charter. It's true that even an adulterous woman can claim maintenance from the husband after divorce. My cousin is paying maintenance to her ex-wife even though she was the one who committed adultery. So i don't think i'm going that direction.
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Posted: 11 October 2008 at 3:00am · IP Logged |
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SupraMod Senior Member
Joined: 12 December 2004
Posts: 659
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Ya... Asia1 once published a news about the matter too.. The wife committed adultery and divorce was filed by the husband. In the end, he had to pay 2000 per month of maintenance due to Woman charter. The rationale under the payment was, she was a tai tai and losing the marriage meant she will have difficulty with living. The husband although unhappy had to pay her the maintenance fee.
Unfair? Welcome to Singapore
Haha..... weird legislation we have here.
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| Simplest things in life are often neglected and forgotten, until the day you started counting, you realised how much you missed.. and I miss you badly.
Posted: 13 October 2008 at 11:26pm · IP Logged |
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SupraMod Senior Member
Joined: 12 December 2004
Posts: 659
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But Mike if im you, i surely will ask her to get lost. My kids are with me. Why should i bear the shame she brought? Why must you insist on having her back? She can do you in this time, she can repeat it the 2nd time. This marriage is gone, my friend. Please wake up your idea and move on. Please don't set bad example for your children. Dun let them think that adultery is okay.. let them know the price! Otherwise, you might end up ruining your children's life too.
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| Simplest things in life are often neglected and forgotten, until the day you started counting, you realised how much you missed.. and I miss you badly.
Posted: 13 October 2008 at 11:28pm · IP Logged |
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sOmuChiNLOvE Newbie
 Joined: 17 June 2008
Posts: 43
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sAd to say.. but i agree with supraMod... now.. the issue shouldnt be how to get her back. Is what your children is going to learn from this... and what will they think of their mother...
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| i LovE yOu...
Posted: 15 October 2008 at 9:31pm · IP Logged |
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icin Groupie
 Joined: 23 September 2008
Posts: 167
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I dun know to pity you or angry at you.
Don't think that she is the mother of the children so to make the family complete? The family can be complete even without her present!! Dun make use of the children to win back this relationship! It won't work.
I believe you are too kind to her. She is taking all the advantages of your kindness. She dun even care about your feeling. She is hurting you again and again!!
Have you ever thought that even you have divorce, will she file for the children customy?
In the end, you end up nothing!! Worst!!
Start planning for yourself and your children. In life, some things might not belongs to you meant not yours.
Stop entangle yourself into this!
Change your lifestyle. Look for better woman.
Upgrade yourself. Change your job and out of this company. Change your dressing and pay more attention to your look. Go dieting (if you are fat!)
Transform yourself into a different MAN.
Dun be too soft. Set a goal for your own future.
Bring out the ego of what a man should be doing!!
Prove it to her that even life without her can be better.
Prove to her that there are better woman that knows how to treasure this man.
Prove to her that this family can be complete without her.
Prove to her that you can earn MORE than her.
Take out your courage MAN!!
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Posted: 16 October 2008 at 2:53pm · IP Logged |
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