| User |
Message |
|
cosbella Newbie
Joined: 25 August 2009
Posts: 29
|
i've been together with this guy for 1 year plus . In the beginning , he treated me really very very good.. But after a few months until now , he treated me really very bad. He dont dote on me . He scold vulgar at me , flaring temper and showing attitude and even hit me.. Now , he stop his violence towards me already , but the way he treat me is still the same. I gave him so many chances. Many times , i wanted to break off. But he dont allow me to leave . he says he will come my hse downstair or go my workplace. sighs. how.? i really feel so miserable being with him... i cry everyday because everyday we are quarreling.. being with him , i have no freedom , no friend. i feel so mistreated by him... He is always flaring his temper at me scolding me . I still love him , but i hate him also . If given a choice, i will choose to leave him because i feel i deserve better... but he will come my house or workplace. how to stop him from pestering me ..
|
|
Posted: 18 May 2010 at 2:19am · IP Logged |
| |
|
|
|
|
ipeace Newbie
Joined: 27 May 2010
Posts: 4
|
One impt question: Does he show violence on you?
I feel you should be strong, streghthen yourself and do not fear him. If he keeps pestering you at work, tell your colleagues to company you down to somewhere 'safe'. Tell your family members, if you have a brother, perhaps you could ask him to speak to this boyfriend of yours. You should not circumvene to his ways, its time you should do something for yourself girl!
|
|
Posted: 27 May 2010 at 8:51am · IP Logged |
|
|
mimi44 Newbie
Joined: 25 May 2010
Posts: 15
|
i think a guy should never show violence to a girl - if he hits you often and leaves you with bruises, you should go to the police!
|
|
Posted: 27 May 2010 at 9:41am · IP Logged |
|
|
marvintba Newbie
Joined: 14 December 2007
Posts: 6
|
For a start, i dun think it's morally right for a guy to be hitting a girl. Go to teh police to obtain a personal protection order. if need to,supply the police with his picture and they will increase the patrolling frequency in your area.
|
|
Posted: 27 May 2010 at 11:28am · IP Logged |
|
|
sweetsurrender Newbie
Joined: 27 May 2010
Posts: 2
|
there's no such thing as don't allow you to leave.. if you really want to leave him, you will. if he stalks you, you should go to the police, take out a personal protection order against him or something. make it clear you want to have nothing to do with him.
the problem is i think you yourself don't really want to leave him. so unless you convince yourself to, there's nothing you can do.
|
|
Posted: 27 May 2010 at 12:29pm · IP Logged |
|
|
janice33 Newbie
Joined: 25 May 2010
Posts: 83
|
hi cosbella
I agree with sweetsurrender. you are officially in an abusive relationship with an abusive man. You say he stops his violence towards you already, but this is not true because he is still verbally violent.
Leave him asap. This type of violent man will only escalate over the years.
|
|
Posted: 27 May 2010 at 12:57pm · IP Logged |
|
|
jingleszz Newbie
Joined: 27 May 2010
Posts: 9
|
Please leave him. If he continues to bother you, call the police. Don't be taken in if he says he's changed, he'll be nice to you, etc. These are all lies and he'll revert back to his own abusive self as long as you allow him.
|
|
Posted: 27 May 2010 at 5:00pm · IP Logged |
|
|
Shuyingeats Newbie
Joined: 29 May 2010
Posts: 14
|
Seek help from the police! Your own safety lies above all else!
|
|
Posted: 31 May 2010 at 6:51pm · IP Logged |
|
|
the_fallen Moderator
 Joined: 01 April 2007
Posts: 985
|
TS: if you really feel miserable and absolutely terrible in such a relationship in your current situation, than find time to talk things out face to face
have a female friend accompany you too; preferably someone who both you and your bf knows
the thing that i learn in relationship is that before, during and after a relationship, always have a clear object/focus on what's happening, don't be dragged around and be led by the nose.
if you really want a break-up, talk to him. the reason why couple often end up in disagreements and patch up is partly due to the fact that both sides don't know how to manage a realtionship.
starting and ending a relationship should be the same, short and simple and please end it peacefully. never end a relationship ending the other party in more questions.
the reason why i would advice you to talk it out with him is to let him know your reason for breaking up, and have him tell you his reasons for wanting to remain in a relationship vice versa.
end it off nicely by saying this: "I hope that you will still remain a gentleman even if we break-up at this moment so as to leave behind memorable memories like how we once started" (edit accordingly to suit your own style)
by telling (informing) the guy why he don't deserve another chance is the most clear cut way to end things, but again with the need to emphasis on it, do it nicely while evaluating the current situation and future situation of things will get even worst if he don't stop whatever his doing.
when you tell him what future (he will be faced with) get him to picture the future with unhappiness, so he can see it in his mind, and to back off like a gentleman..saying that you are doing it for his own good..as it is not possible to continue a sinking relationship with numerous cracks already present..just a simple knock/nudge will really send the ship (relationship) deep into the sea (law due to him turning violent)..
think ahead..talk in a public cafe etc..so he cannot lay even his finger on you!! with public eyes as your witness in the event if things get ugly..
hope it helps..
Pai seh for the long reply.
PS: if even this fails..that means he isn't a suitable marriage partner for consideration who cannot think straight..than start fighting back..
|
| 细心，耐心，关心，真心和
爱心是我的五颗心。
Posted: 02 June 2010 at 9:31am · IP Logged |
|
|
angelnstitch Newbie
Joined: 05 May 2010
Posts: 70
|
A gal should never ever be treated this way, be is physically or verbally. Even though he has stopped his violence, he shouldn't still treat you that badly as you do not deserve it. Love yourself more, and think about what's best for you, and if this is the relationship that you want to be in for the rest of your life.
When my bf started verbally abusing me, I was so upset and hurt that he realised he was wrong. And he is putting in effort to make sure he doesn't repeat the same mistake again. This is what your bf should do, to at least give you the simple respect you deserve.
If he's really not changing his attitude towards you, you have to seriously consider about the relationship, and don't let what he says affect you. Carefully consider if you're able to put up with him for the rest of your life.
|
|
Posted: 04 June 2010 at 1:51pm · IP Logged |
|
Follow us: 
