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BeBeCo Newbie
Joined: 22 June 2010
Posts: 3
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Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years.We had been very happy for 4 years.He is always very caring and fulfiling almost every needs.Despite parents objection, due to his height and his quietness,I still continue to be with him. To be honest, I only have sex with with him once till now.Every time we got intimate, end up masterbated from him.Reason: He want it after marriage.Until recently this year, when I talked abt marriage,then he bought me a 0.3 carat ring,after that he remain quiet whenever I talk about how to continue with the wedding stuffs etc.He told me that he needs to talk with his parents. reason : he rarely talk much at home,So I gave him 3 months to communicate with his parents.On the other hand, I also asked him how was the progress with his parents.Till now, I have yet to get anything answers from him.What Should I do now?Should I wait or give up?
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Posted: 22 June 2010 at 11:42pm · IP Logged |
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janice33 Newbie
Joined: 25 May 2010
Posts: 83
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Bebeco: just curious how old is he? He proposed to you right? I think he should be serious about you because he isn't with you for the sex. As you said even your parents find him too quiet, I think he is probably very very shy and find it tough to tell his parents. Or he is trying to save up money for the wedding, house, etc and is not ready yet. Think you should wait instead of giving up. 
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Posted: 23 June 2010 at 12:42am · IP Logged |
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the_fallen Moderator
 Joined: 01 April 2007
Posts: 985
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there are 3 parts to your post..
1st part: What's your height and his height?
how quiet is he, and does he fall under the emo category? than what about you? do you consider yourself quiet, chatty or easy going?
what do you think is the cause of his parents' objections from you perspective?
2nd part: Sex related.It seems to me from your post, your urge to have sex is higher than your bf right plus you and him have different moral values when it comes to such stuffs..
talk to him about it..get him to speak up..if you have to do it the hard way..or tempt him into saying it by lustful actions if you must..
for him to resist your advances on bed...it's against normal man's hormones..seriously..so there must be something of a emotional barrier that's causing him to think and react this way..
but carry out 2nd part only after you have solved the 1st part.. of the issue..
3rd part: this part is about you, you obviously love him enough to want to have sex with your numerous attempts which end up in disappointment..but look on the bright side..this is an near extinct grade of guys you should cling on to..for he is ready to support you financially (based it on the diamond ring) with the exception of he's lack of self-confidence only.
so if you still love him, why even consider the thought of leaving him? is it due to your lack of tolerance against his indecisiveness?
Side-Note: If for any-reason due to this post which contains sex related questions, you (TS) experience a sudden surge in Inbox from other users about sex offers or other personal queries which you don't feel comfortable, let us know (Admin/Moderators) so we can blacklist those users with ill intentions who attempt to corrupt the culture of this forum. >> This is based on previous experiences<<
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| 细心，耐心，关心，真心和
爱心是我的五颗心。
Posted: 23 June 2010 at 9:35am · IP Logged |
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yiyingtan Groupie
Joined: 28 May 2010
Posts: 440
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i dont tink u shd give up bcos of all these, based on ur 6 yrs with him, u should hav known hows his personality like? maybe of his quietness (at home), u shd giv him more time? besides, u guys are not having any arguments or whatsoever, so shdnt let tis affect ur r/s.
Goodluck!
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Posted: 23 June 2010 at 10:45am · IP Logged |
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BeBeCo Newbie
Joined: 22 June 2010
Posts: 3
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Thanks Janice33 and the_fallen for your advice.
Janice33: He is 35. He proposed to me informally, by bringing me to the jewellery shop to buy the ring. As a lady, you will see him very unromantic.
the_fallen: My height is abt 1.68m, his is abt 1.62m. Sorry, I m new here. What’s “emo category” means? Accordingly to him, he said he talk more to me than his parents. There was one occasion whereby I went to his house one evening, when I was chatting with his parents. He saw me chatting happily, after that he told me that my conversation to his parents that evening was equivalent to his 1 week conversation to his parents. I got a shocked!
As for me, I can be chatty and quiet at times, depends on situation.
Actually, my parents objected initially. I tried ways to make him, have good impressions from my parents.
2nd part: I do agree that I have stronger sexual desires than him. Had tried ways to get him to speak up, example: not enough $$, parents object, seeing other person, personal man’s health or any problem that bothering him but ended fruitless. At times, I was thinking whether my understanding to him, isn’t deep enough or he is still indecisive to commit, really unable to read his mind.
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Posted: 23 June 2010 at 11:39am · IP Logged |
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dojob1234 Newbie
Joined: 21 June 2010
Posts: 51
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Hmm... From a guy point of view, I think he's serious about you... Just that he do not know how to open his heart up... I believe all the while he have not been romantic with you :) He's those kind of person that hides everything deep inside his heart... It takes long time, and patient to open it up...
My little suggestion on this... Maybe you can talk to his parents, or even his friends, and know/understand more of him? As of, why he is so quiet... It might be he's born with it... or maybe due to some 'incident', he seldom talk...
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Posted: 23 June 2010 at 12:07pm · IP Logged |
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the_fallen Moderator
Joined: 01 April 2007
Posts: 985
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BeBeCo wrote:
Thanks Janice33 and the_fallen for your advice.
Janice33: He is 35. He proposed to me informally, by bringing me to the jewellery shop to buy the ring. As a lady, you will see him very unromantic.
the_fallen: My height is abt 1.68m, his is abt 1.62m. Sorry, I m new here. What’s “emo category” means? Accordingly to him, he said he talk more to me than his parents. There was one occasion whereby I went to his house one evening, when I was chatting with his parents. He saw me chatting happily, after that he told me that my conversation to his parents that evening was equivalent to his 1 week conversation to his parents. I got a shocked!
As for me, I can be chatty and quiet at times, depends on situation.
Actually, my parents objected initially. I tried ways to make him, have good impressions from my parents.
2nd part: I do agree that I have stronger sexual desires than him. Had tried ways to get him to speak up, example: not enough $$, parents object, seeing other person, personal man’s health or any problem that bothering him but ended fruitless. At times, I was thinking whether my understanding to him, isn’t deep enough or he is still indecisive to commit, really unable to read his mind.
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Emo by my definition is the same as me askin you: "does your bf belows to those kind of guys that will hide in a corner squat down and draw imaginary circles using his finger on the floor head down too? "
as for height issues, since he propose to you, means he doesn't really mind the fact you're taller than him. deep inside his heart, he holds some belief that he got something to compensate for the lack of height..>>i presume it to be the financial ability of his in this case based on what you've written..
for the chatty part..i think this is an advantage to you and his parents. Coz when you speak up, you can help him address issues which he like to discuss with his parents, but dunno for whatever reason choose not to do so..it could due to some phobia or experiences which caused him to behave this way.
regarding sexual issues, let's leave it as it is currently..as the main cause of issue for him to avoid it is the problem which needs to be address in the first part..
the question of "why and what cause your bf to be such an introvert?"
until that question is solved, you will not have any chances of increasing your percentage of getting intimate with him even if you tried all kinds of adult tricks.
the key point here is to address the question which is the barrier that has being set up in his heart to protect himself from harming himself or peole around him etc.
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| 细心，耐心，关心，真心和
爱心是我的五颗心。
Posted: 24 June 2010 at 10:17am · IP Logged |
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chicbaby Groupie
Joined: 25 May 2010
Posts: 105
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the_fallen wrote:
| Emo by my definition is the same as me askin you: "does your bf belows to those kind of guys that will hide in a corner squat down and draw imaginary circles using his finger on the floor head down too? " |
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Fallen: haha that's a hilarious way to describe emo!
bebeco: anyway my bf is also unromantic, like a wood block if you know what I mean! but like that also good, I don't have to be so sensitive to him (unlike other snaggy guys...) always look on the bright side huh? I believe your boyfriend is true to you.
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Posted: 24 June 2010 at 5:05pm · IP Logged |
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