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sepbabe Newbie
Joined: 11 August 2010
Posts: 1
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My husband keep telling me he loves me and want to grow old with me but yet he never stop cheating behind my back. These women ranging from age 20s to 40s. Even with married women with children. I have confronted him of which he denied and claim his innocence. I found condoms, viagra, photos in his working bag. Recently, I found out he is having an affair with someone whom he met in Jakarta through his sms. I called this woman telling her to stop fooling around with my husband. She told me my husband told her he is divorced. She apologized and thanked me for calling her. I have many times asked for divorce since he likes to tell people that he is a divorcee but he never agree to it. I still love him and have a special needs daughter.
Can anyone share your views?
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Posted: 11 August 2010 at 2:26pm · IP Logged |
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SupraMod Senior Member
 Joined: 12 December 2004
Posts: 659
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I think the choices are clear for you. You can stick to him and pretends he is not having any affairs. Anywayz, there are men who says i love you and truly mean it, yet continue to have affairs. Because in their perspective, "I mean it truly, wholeheartedly, in this moment when i said it." It is valid and you also feels it when he says it, thats why you believe it then. But, when his behaviour turns the moment you walk away, you are confused why he could pull off so easily.
Or you may find your own lover too and doesn't give a damn to him.
Or divorce him and take care of your special needs daughter on ur own.
Whatever choices you made, be conscious to the consequences and what it may affect your life. Thats probably what you need to do..
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| Simplest things in life are often neglected and forgotten, until the day you started counting, you realised how much you missed.. and I miss you badly.
Posted: 12 August 2010 at 3:31pm · IP Logged |
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lkklkk Newbie
Joined: 27 October 2010
Posts: 5
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i feel sorry for you. i had the same problem with my marriage. my hubby cheated on me over and over gain. i finally found courage and just had a divorce recently. i am still learning to get over all the mess so that i can start my life again.. i was so down at one time i wanted to take my own life. Recently i manage to gather enough courage to meet other men, you know after hating men for since and i must say it was not easy. but thanks to help of an astrologer by the name of Regulus, (i must say this, because i am grateful to him for picking me up and helping me so much).
Anyways, i have now learnt to follow my heart more and not let peer or any other pressure affect my being. i am very clear of what i want for myself now and i feel i am able to enjoy fully in r/s now..
=URL removed=
Edited by the_fallen on 28 October 2010 at 5:08pm
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Posted: 27 October 2010 at 2:19pm · IP Logged |
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the_fallen Moderator
 Joined: 01 April 2007
Posts: 985
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TS: Since your husband is such a jerk, why not just thrash things out nicely?
If he doesn't admit it, don't bother to ward off his efforts of contacting other ladies. The more you do it, the more your husband will repeat the same mistakes.
If you really love him, just let him be, and hopefully he will learn his lesson when the time is ripe. (ladies cheating his business away from him so he learn that you are there beside him as always.
If you heart isn't big and generous to that extent, hire a detective, follow him, gather evidence and sue him off his ass. Get alimony from him in court with the help of law.
If however you're not the type of people who will go to that extreme sides, than consider the possibility of having to be contented and agree to your husband setting a negative image for your children (if you have any) and be prepared to cope with mental pressure and the risk of him passing you STDs. (That will happen if you allow things to pass as it is now and do nothing about it except to attempt to save a wreck family and keeping to maintain a happy family image with your parents only.)
Better to endure the short term intense pain than to endure slow gradual deepening pain with time.
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| 细心，耐心，关心，真心和
爱心是我的五颗心。
Posted: 28 October 2010 at 5:20pm · IP Logged |
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donnxiaohui Newbie
Joined: 07 January 2011
Posts: 4
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im sorry for you. but guys are all just flirts(99.9999%). be it hw good dey might be.
i tink sometime ladies jus have to open and close one eyes. cos when we look at it with both eyes open, we will tend to magnify de problems. at de end of de day, we will be de one who suffer and breakdown.
wad i have learnt frm my past betrayed r/s is sometimes not knowing everything is a blessing in disguise too.
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Posted: 07 January 2011 at 5:13pm · IP Logged |
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the_fallen Moderator
Joined: 01 April 2007
Posts: 985
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donnxiaohui wrote:
im sorry for you. but guys are all just flirts(99.9999%). be it hw good dey might be.
i tink sometime ladies jus have to open and close one eyes. cos when we look at it with both eyes open, we will tend to magnify de problems. at de end of de day, we will be de one who suffer and breakdown.
wad i have learnt frm my past betrayed r/s is sometimes not knowing everything is a blessing in disguise too. |
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hey..that's a statement which i disagree...!! lol..not most guys are flirts..at least not me..and maybe a couple more of the guys in this forum.
perhaps ladies might want to take note of this: keep your long hair even after marriage..over the years, i realized this is that..most ladies (when i'm observing my elders during festive season) would look like a housewife when they cut their hair short to put a stop to the troublesome washing and maintenance of the long hair.
i don't really know how to explain this, but long hair indicates a sign of attractiveness in guys' genes...but make sure your long hair is well kept, tidy, neat, and healthy..
husband will agree to wife cutting short hair out of respect and love, but that hair-cut consequences = a cut/sudden drop in sex appeal and attractiveness from a guy's perspective. (this is a fact that most guys will never want to admit..
of course, ladies with short hair can be equally attractive ONLY if they are active, cheerful and confident, perhaps + a bit of playfulness in themselves. (something like the He Zai Qing female lead in Korean drama series: "Boys Over Flower")
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| 细心，耐心，关心，真心和
爱心是我的五颗心。
Posted: 08 January 2011 at 6:57pm · IP Logged |
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heyyjuliet Groupie
Joined: 19 June 2010
Posts: 423
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It's hard, but you have to leave this man at once. It is a legal reason to leave him, after all. Get a lawyer, and get it over with as soon as possible. A man who cheats, lies, and refuses to do anything to change? Darling, you deserve better. Of course you still love him, but the question is, does he really still love you?
Especially for your daughter too, she needs your full attention. You can't be tracking your husbands 'activities' everyday, right?
Consider it carefully. May God bless you and may you make the right decision.
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| If only I had you..
Posted: 08 January 2011 at 10:20pm · IP Logged |
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blurry101 Senior Member
 Joined: 28 May 2010
Posts: 776
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Yes u deserve so much better than a guy like this! He doesn't respect u by cheating on u, and doesn't show any remorse for his actions! How many more chances do u want to give him? Haiz why do so many guys like this exist...
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Posted: 10 January 2011 at 2:33pm · IP Logged |
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loveyou1hr Senior Member
Joined: 09 January 2011
Posts: 594
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OK,the most commonly made relationship mistake by ladies is we always like to think that we can change our man for the better. and that, is UNTRUE.
Assuming u are a faithful and fulfilled ur responsibilities as a wife,you should leave this man immediately. Obviously he cheated on u again and again, so many ladies,he doesnt deserve u. Just leave him to rot really.
Imagine what would u have done if this situation happened say when u were a teenager and were still dating. Im sure you would want to leave the guy. For now, the situation is still the same. just that u have a special needs daughter to take care off and lack of money can be a serious problem.
If money is not a problem, then u and ur daughter should leave this guy ASAP. move on with life. U and ur daughter will be happier living together without his constant betrayal.
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Posted: 31 January 2011 at 11:45pm · IP Logged |
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hap4ever Newbie
Joined: 11 July 2011
Posts: 61
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Why are there so many guys who think that they can have more than one woman at the same time? My ex husband also tried to demand that I accept the other woman and continue to be married to him. How to? When you obviously disregard my happiness totally.
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Posted: 22 August 2011 at 3:08pm · IP Logged |
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