Warning signs things are out of control

A little flirting with someone you meet on a regular basis (like a co-worker) can quickly get out of hand. A warning sign that your "friendship" has crossed the line is when your "friend" has become your go-to soulmate for sharing emotional intimacy (hopes, fears, dreams) instead of your spouse. Another tell-tale sign is a diminished relationship with your spouse, such as more fights over small issues, little or no sex, and the feeling that you don't have much in common anymore, warns Neuman. If you find yourself having to lie to your partner about how you relate to someone else, it's a big wake-up call that you need to reassess your relationahip with that person.

Always place your relationship in the first spot

Mastering your self-control to flirting boils down to how much you value your relationship and a respect for your partner's feelings, so don't forget what brought you and your partner together in the first place. "It's so easy," says Neuman, "to forget why we fell in love." It's important to constantly "feed" your love with lots of communication and together-time.

And however much fun (or benefit) you may have from flirting with other guys, nothing beats flirting with yours. "A lot of people stop flirting once they are in a relationship. Don't. The couple that plays together stays together," urges relationship expert Tracey Cox. When you retain that playful factor in your relationship, you'll keep it from getting stuck in a rut.