Time to get real: If you knew what goes on behind other real-life couple's closed doors, you'd realize that your friends or neighbors don't make out like Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks, and probably face the same issues as you do. Here are the details they aren't telling:
"He finishes, like, in 60 seconds."
What you should know:Premature ejaculation affects an estimated 30 percent of men, and most guys can actually only have intercourse for an average of two to five minutes. There's an obvious fix: Pull out and stop having sex for a few minutes to postpone orgasm. Domeena Renshaw, M.D., author of Seven Weeks To Better Sex recommends this stop-and-start technique: Engage in foreplay until he almosts reaches orgasm, then stop, relax, hug, hold each other until his erection goes down. Then continue to the same point and stop again. If he ejaculates too soon, don't fret. "Take a break and try again in an hour or two," advises Renshaw, "Remember, the second erection lasts longer anyway."
"I don't climax during sex. And I feel like the only woman who can't."
What you should know:The movies may have painted a different picture in which today's females are effortlessly orgasmic, but the fact is about 25 percent of women have trouble reaching orgasm during sex. And many actually find it easier to achieve orgasm through oral or manual stimulation of the clitoris than via intercouse alone. Getting on top can give you direct clitoral stimulation, as can your partner's hands, or you can try incorporating a vibrator during sex.
"My partner's lovemaking skills desperately need improvement. How do I tell him without bruising his ego?"
What you should know:Telling someone you love that his bedroom skills are less-than-stellar isn't exactly the easiest thing to do. But honesty goes a long way in a relationship. Tracey Cox, sexpert and author of Supersex, offers these tips:
"Start by telling your partner what they're doing right before moving on to what they're doing wrong. Talk about what you want more of in bed, not less," says Cox. It helps to make a list of things that you want more of in bed versus things that you want less off. Why? Saying what you hate isn't going to help much unless you suggest something you'd like him to do instead. If he's still not getting it right, use your hands to guide him hand or hips to where you'd like them to go.