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Q&A

Relationship Gone Stale

Question:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years now. I feel bad saying this, but frankly, I am getting a bit bored. It's just stay-home dinner, TV and the odd movie nowadays – even the sex has gotten so blah. How can I make things exciting again, or does this spell the end of our relationship?


Honey, your relationship is far from over. It's just been a tad taken for granted by the two of you. Trouble is, after couples have been together for a while, romance takes a back seat; they stop making extra time to do special things together, they allow the demands of work and chores to take their toll, and end up in a boring rut.

It is important to remember that romance takes effort. Even the best couples slide sometimes, but that doesn't mean that the love has disappeared. If anything, your taking the initiative to work things out proves that you still care about this relationship.

Try recreating the mood of those first few months; do the things you used to do together, when you felt so in love with each other. Say, if you used to dine at that romantic restaurant once a fortnight, start doing that again instead of staying at home for dinner.

Of course, your special time together doesn't have to be lavish all the time. Romance is more than just about candlelight dinners and Valentine presents – simple activities like sharing a bottle of sparkling wine, watching the stars, or just giving each other your undivided attention are some of the little magical things that remind you of how much you mean to each other.

Even if you are staying in, light aromatherapy candles and play some music as you cuddle on the couch, stroke each other's hair or give each other a relaxing massage. The important thing is to get in touch with your sensuality again. When you start feeling connected to each other once more, you will also feel physical desire again.

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